The Whole Truth

…and nothing but the truth. That’s what Rinnah has asked of me. Of course, I am always a very frank and honest person to begin with, so with this one, I will be even MORE honest. No white lie here then. To complete this tag, I need to list down eight questions or statements that should never ever be asked of or said to me. (so now you know that if you do say any of these things to me, I will not be a happy camper)

*****

“People say…”
Don’t start off your sentence with “People say…” when you are talking to me. More often than not, you don’t even KNOW who these fictitious *people* are to begin with. They could be your friend’s mother’s sister’s boyfriend’s aunt for all I care. Thing is, most of the facts would have already been missing when the whole story reaches you, and that’s not at all authentic to me.

“Why?”
Look, it’s all right if you ask me “Why?” once, well…maaybe twice, but if you keep asking it in response to each and every thing I say, it’s not cute any more. Let me refer you to Google, okay? Repeated “Why?”s are only acceptable if you are a kid and you don’t know how to use the computer.

“Miss, this one got 20% off now…”
… or something to that effect. I can read the sign that says “20% off” when the font size is readable a mile away. There is no need for you to reiterate and worse, follow me around the store, narrating which ones are on discount and which ones are not. When I want your help to get me something in my size, I will let you know. Otherwise, a simple, “Hi, welcome to our store” would suffice.

“Hah?”
If you need me to repeat what I just said, please take the trouble to ask nicely. “Pardon?”, “Sorry?” or “Excuse me?” are all acceptable. “Hah?” just makes me mad and makes you look like a complete nincompoop!

“Aunty…”
It’s not because I am in denial, but if you are trying to sell me that vacuum cleaner and start your sales pitch by calling me Aunty, do you think I would even remotely consider buying it?

“Can I meet you for lunch? I want to introduce this rewarding sales plan to you!”
Can’t we just meet for food and some good catch-up on old times without bringing in any MLM business discussions?

“Your lips are too dry”, “You have big hips” or “You have a lot of open pores”
When you want to introduce a new brand of skincare or a new facial treatment to me, I am not affected by what YOU say. The more you insult the way I am right now, the more I will NOT buy what you are selling.

“Do you prefer to eat char koay teow or laksa?”
Please don’t ask me to choose either one. I know a place in Pulau Tikus where we can get both. Why choose when I can get both?!
*****

Gosh, that was a hard tag. Those who have passed the TRUTH test with flying colors are:

Ogre the Caveman
Janice this is a miracle
Trinity from Rooms of My Heart
rinnah from It’s all about the spin…
Giddy Tiger from Giddy Tigers

And those who need to take this test now are:

Leah
Adino
5XMom

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19 Responses to The Whole Truth

  1. Leah says:

    Ha, you listed most of my pet peeves liao, but I am sure I can find more.:-)

    The Giddy Tiger says: Great! Can’t wait to read about them…

  2. rinnah says:

    *starts rambling*
    Aunty… you know ah…. that one got 20% discount… can see or not?… very good for dry / oily skin one… eat asam laksa and char koay teow after that also no breakout liao… people say hor… buy under that MLM / sales plan not only cheap but can earn big bucks one… Har? You dunwan ah? Aiyo… Why?????

    ROTFL!

    Okay, okay, I’ll be a good girl now. Won’t ever say that again. *grin*

    The Giddy Tiger says: Omigosh! You are a very very bad girl! And a notti one too! Of course, I know you meant that in jest and you did it because I took such an awfully long time completing this tag!

  3. rinnah says:

    LOL! So busy formulating my comment above that I forgot to say a BIG thank you for doing the tag! *hugs*

    The Giddy Tiger says: You are most welcome! That was one of the toughest ones yet! 😀

  4. lilian says:

    Haiyor, not I dunwan to do. I tak paham mau buat apa, aunty. LOL. Can explain in my blog or email?\

    The Giddy Tiger says: Aisay, call me aunty samo 😛 I send you an email ok?

  5. Adino says:

    Hah? Why? Hehe… thanks so much for the tag! I’ll work on it in the coming weeks 🙂

    The Giddy Tiger says: Have fun with it!

  6. Where are you staying actually? You always go to Pulau Tikus market one is it? Then, one day must meet you up. Meet up in this place which sounds like a food paradise to you,k? haha….

    Er.. Can you email me your msn ar?

    The Giddy Tiger says: No, I always go to Queensbay Mall 🙂 But I love the char koay teow at that shop in Pulau Tikus.

  7. jazzmint says:

    haha yaya i hate it when ppl keep asking why…

    The Giddy Tiger says: So you DO understand what I mean! 😀

  8. may says:

    I’d squirm if I heard someone call me “aunty” too… LOLOL!! *denial* *denial*

    BTW…

    share your wisdom with us, o’ Blog Jedi Master!

    The Giddy Tiger says: Thanks, May, but I’ve already imparted my wisdom….next tag’s on me?

  9. Pinkelle says:

    Hear, hear for the last one! I hate having to make decisions! I always blame it on my Libran traits *swings wildly on the scales*

    p/s I’ll like to present this year’s nice award to you! 🙂

    The Giddy Tiger says: Hey, you’re a Libran too?? That makes TWO of us!

  10. Pingback: 5Xmom - Sex, Humor, Life, Lies, » The truthful meme

  11. Pingback: Nothing but the truth | Leah's Cafe

  12. This is a tough tag. *Pray dun come to me.*

    I’m one who tells people straight what I think whether they want to hear anot. Some people canot handle the truth. that makes me a lot of enemies. hehe….

    The Giddy Tiger says: Hope it comes to you…darn..how could I forget to tag you?!

  13. Pingback: Kampua Talk » Blog Archive » Don't Ever Ask/Tell Me These!

  14. misti says:

    people call me auntie many years already. 🙁

    The Giddy Tiger says: Well, as long as you’re not irked by it…

  15. Well done. I like your choices and how you supported them,

    Who would call you Auntie? You look so young.

    The Giddy Tiger says: Naive salespeople trying to sell dustpans and vacuum cleaners apparently…

  16. ehon says:

    wakakakakkakakakakakaka!!

    Aunty. Aunty? LOL! I’m starting to get this Australian thing of calling people names (Aunty n Uncle almost never exist in Australia). Nowadays I ask, do you want me to call you aunty or name?

    The Giddy Tiger says: Please call me by name 🙂

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  18. pelf says:

    Actually, I paling pantang people call me Aunty. Especially those aunties with kids! “Come baby, say Hi to aunty!” CIS. I belum kahwin, and I am pretty, so don’t blardee call me Aunty. LOL.

    The Giddy Tiger says: Exactly my sentiments! Of course, I am married la, but still, I am pretty what…

  19. narrowband says:

    Wow tag-overload!! Hey guess what, when I was in Form 4, I worked in Toys R Us as parttimer and a kid actually called me ‘uncle’. I was 16, ok…. 16!!

    The Giddy Tiger says: Uncle at 16? That is just WAY too much!

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