…and nothing but the truth. That’s what Rinnah has asked of me. Of course, I am always a very frank and honest person to begin with, so with this one, I will be even MORE honest. No white lie here then. To complete this tag, I need to list down eight questions or statements that should never ever be asked of or said to me. (so now you know that if you do say any of these things to me, I will not be a happy camper)
*****
“People say…”
Don’t start off your sentence with “People say…” when you are talking to me. More often than not, you don’t even KNOW who these fictitious *people* are to begin with. They could be your friend’s mother’s sister’s boyfriend’s aunt for all I care. Thing is, most of the facts would have already been missing when the whole story reaches you, and that’s not at all authentic to me.
“Why?”
Look, it’s all right if you ask me “Why?” once, well…maaybe twice, but if you keep asking it in response to each and every thing I say, it’s not cute any more. Let me refer you to Google, okay? Repeated “Why?”s are only acceptable if you are a kid and you don’t know how to use the computer.
“Miss, this one got 20% off now…”
… or something to that effect. I can read the sign that says “20% off” when the font size is readable a mile away. There is no need for you to reiterate and worse, follow me around the store, narrating which ones are on discount and which ones are not. When I want your help to get me something in my size, I will let you know. Otherwise, a simple, “Hi, welcome to our store” would suffice.
“Hah?”
If you need me to repeat what I just said, please take the trouble to ask nicely. “Pardon?”, “Sorry?” or “Excuse me?” are all acceptable. “Hah?” just makes me mad and makes you look like a complete nincompoop!
“Aunty…”
It’s not because I am in denial, but if you are trying to sell me that vacuum cleaner and start your sales pitch by calling me Aunty, do you think I would even remotely consider buying it?
“Can I meet you for lunch? I want to introduce this rewarding sales plan to you!”
Can’t we just meet for food and some good catch-up on old times without bringing in any MLM business discussions?
“Your lips are too dry”, “You have big hips” or “You have a lot of open pores”
When you want to introduce a new brand of skincare or a new facial treatment to me, I am not affected by what YOU say. The more you insult the way I am right now, the more I will NOT buy what you are selling.
“Do you prefer to eat char koay teow or laksa?”
Please don’t ask me to choose either one. I know a place in Pulau Tikus where we can get both. Why choose when I can get both?!
*****
Gosh, that was a hard tag. Those who have passed the TRUTH test with flying colors are:
Ogre the Caveman
Janice this is a miracle
Trinity from Rooms of My Heart
rinnah from It’s all about the spin…
Giddy Tiger from Giddy Tigers
And those who need to take this test now are:
Little Miracles
Our Journey of Love
